Granola Fail

My very own mother has complained not that I haven't been blogging in months but that my posts did not have enough failure. Thanks, Mom. So, fresh from my holiday kitchen I bring you a solid recipe failure: homemade granola.

My dad loves granola so as part of his Christmas present I thought I would make a batch of granola from scratch. I asked the Biggy for a recipe suggestion and she gave me one off of Orangette, but I was thinking I wanted to make a cherry almond vanilla ish granola and that recipe maybe didn't lend itself to those flavors. And it required a trip to Whole Foods for brown rice syrup and I was feeling lazy. (As you will see most likely resulted in the upcoming fail...) So I started searching around and came across a recipe for Almond Crunch Granola:

1 c. slivered almonds, toasted
1 c. flaked coconut
1/2 c. honey
2 1/2 c. rolled oats (I used quick cooking, recipe said any kind would do...)
3/4 t. cinnamon
1/4 vegetable oil

I figured I'd add some vanilla in with the honey and stir in dried cherries after the fact. Blend everything together and bake at 350 for 30 minutes stirring occasionally.

Well, things started rough when I came within 45 seconds of burning the toasted almonds. They were just a bit more brown than golden, but didn't taste burnt so onward I went.  Next, I realized my honey bear had crystallized and I don't have a microwave in this kitchen. (And besides, the last time I microwaved honey I left it in too long, the jar began to melt, I tried to pour the honey out to save it from the plastic and the honey was so hot it began to melt the honey bear I was pouring into...molten honey will burn off your fingerprints. Just sayin.) Learning lessons all the time, I say. So this time I boiled water and made a water bath to melt the honey. Which worked fine except I only had maybe 1/4 cup. Sigh. What to substitute? Dark Karo syrup? Why not. I have no idea if this was a good idea or not, but that's what happened.

With everything finally mixed together (vanilla added as well as some cardamom) I spread it out on the baking sheet and in it went. I set the clock for 15 minutes, stirred everybody up, and put it back in for another 15 minutes. Turns out 10 would have been better. I started smelling it and pulled it out about 3 minutes early. It wasn't blackened. Yet. But it was certainly a nice dark brown. I got mad and went for a run hoping when I came back the granola would be crunched up and not too bad. Needless to say I mixed in the cherries. I poured it into its cute glass jar. I stared at it. I tasted it. I glared at it.

Annnnd this morning I salvaged the cherries and tossed the damn thing. Yep, that's it in my trash can.

So I decided Dad didn't need granola and sat down with my coffee, Real Simple, and Giada's perfect stinkin' Christmas episode on tv. And that is when I absently flipped open my magazine to an applesauce granola recipe! I grumbled at Santa to butt out and got started.

This time around the recipe looked like this:
3 c. old fashioned oats
1 c. chopped raw cashews (I had almonds left so that's what I used)
2/3 c. unsweetened applesauce
1/4 c. sesame seeds (left these out)
1/4 c. packed brown sugar
4 T. melted butter
1 1/2 t. ground ginger
1/2 t. fine salt
1/2 c. chopped dried pineapple (I also added the, ahem, saved cherries)

Mix everybody together, spread on a rimmed baking sheet, bake at 275 for 55-60 minutes tossing twice.

I learned that dried cherries will absolutely not be chopped in a food processor, mini or regular sized. I also learned that this granola is a way better idea. The ginger, pineapple, and cherry make a really nice flavor combo, the lower temp oven meant I was less likely to burn yet another batch...